Best Advice I've Ever Received
"You don't have to explain."
That was what my Aunt Nina told me around this time last year. At the time, it fit the context of our phone call. During that time, I was living in Chicago and hella fragile. Many times we spoke, I had tears streaming down my cheek for various reasons, but her words always comforted without me ever explaining what was going on the other end of the phone line. Just like God, her message (more like her promises) would come right on time. So when she assured me that I didn't need to explain to her or anyone else - I got it.
It was a reminder that I was living for me, and no one else. And that was enough. Always.
To date, that has been the best nugget of advice I've ever received. I've carried it with me ever since, reminding myself to halt whenever I feel the need to apologetically explain my actions, opinions, behaviors, and thinking to anyone . Whenever I spiral into the justification speech of why I did what I did, I think of Aunt Nina's advice.
You see - many will have opinions about what you should, or should not, do with your life. Several will question why you made that move or decision in the first place. Most won't understand. None of it matters. Nobody's judgement about your truth has anything to do with you. That's their mess to deal with - not yours.
The truth is, I strive to live my life simple. The only person I'm constantly trying to impress is Harlem. I do what I do the best I can. I don't ask for acceptance and don't seek to explain.
The thing is - our life is our life. No one else's. Yours is yours. Mine is mine. My decisiveness is often times labeled as stubborn. I rarely waiver in my stances on anything. And I pride myself on that. I feel how I feel. I say what I say. And I mean it. I own all of it.
So the next time someone questions what, or why, you did what you did, know that explanations are optional, never a requirement. Don't feel obligated to explain in order to avoid scrutiny or judgement. Live your life unapologetically and act and move in the manner you see fit.
